Faire La Bise: The Complete Guide to French Cheek Kisses

Have you ever found yourself in that awkward moment where a French person leans in for a greeting and you're not sure whether to shake hands, hug, or attempt some sort of facial choreography? You're not alone! "Faire la bise" (literally "to make the kiss") is one of those quintessentially French customs that can leave foreigners feeling completely bewildered.

In this guide, we'll demystify the French cheek kiss greeting so you can navigate this cultural practice with confidence and avoid any embarrassing mishaps.

What Exactly Is "La Bise"?

La bise refers to the light kisses on the cheek that French people exchange as a greeting. Unlike romantic kisses, these are more symbolic—essentially, you're touching cheeks and making a kissing sound with your lips. It's not meant to leave a lipstick mark or any moisture!

This traditional greeting dates back centuries in French culture and remains an important social ritual today. In essence, la bise is to the French what a handshake or brief hug might be to Americans or Brits.

When to Do La Bise: The Social Rules

Understanding when to offer la bise versus when to shake hands or simply wave can feel like navigating a complex social maze. Here's a helpful breakdown:

Do La Bise When:

• Greeting friends and family

• Meeting friends of friends for the first time

• Arriving at and leaving informal social gatherings

• Greeting colleagues you have a friendly relationship with (particularly common among women)

Don't Do La Bise When:

• In formal business settings (especially upon first meeting)

• Meeting government officials or in highly professional contexts

• You're in a rush (a simple "Bonjour" will suffice)

• The other person extends their hand first (follow their lead)

The Great Debate: How Many Kisses?

Here's where it gets truly complicated! The number of kisses exchanged varies dramatically by region in France. This regional variation is so significant that there's even a website called "Combien de Bises" dedicated to mapping how many kisses are customary in different parts of the country!

As a general guide:

• 1 kiss: Rare, but exists in some parts of Brittany

• 2 kisses: Most common in Paris and northern regions (starting on the left cheek)

• 3 kisses: Common in some southern regions and parts of Belgium

• 4 kisses: Traditional in Paris suburbs and some eastern regions

• 5 kisses: Very rare but does exist in some small regions

If you're unsure, two kisses is usually a safe bet, especially in Paris and most tourist destinations. When in doubt, follow the lead of the French person you're greeting!

La Bise Step-by-Step: The Perfect Technique

Ready to master la bise? Here's your step-by-step guide:

1. Make eye contact and smile warmly

2. Lean in slightly toward the person

3. Start with the right cheek (your right cheek touches their right cheek)

4. Make a light kissing sound with your lips (without actually kissing the person's cheek)

5. Switch to the other cheek and repeat (for however many kisses are customary)

6. Say "Bonjour" or "Salut" during or after the greeting

Remember: It's actually a touch of cheeks, not a kiss on the cheek! Your lips don't need to make contact with their skin.

Common La Bise Faux Pas to Avoid

As a French learner and cultural explorer, beware of these common mistakes:

1. The wet kiss: Keep it dry! La bise should not leave moisture on the other person's cheek.

2. The air kiss: While fashionable in some circles, most everyday French people actually touch cheeks rather than kissing the air near the cheek.

3. The wrong direction: Most French people start with the right cheek (leaning left), but be prepared to follow the other person's lead.

4. The hesitation dance: Nothing is more awkward than the "which way are we going?" dance. Commit to the direction with confidence!

5. The rejection: If someone offers la bise, refusing can be considered rude unless you explain you're feeling unwell.

La Bise Language: Essential French Phrases

To complete your la bise cultural knowledge, here are some key phrases:

• "On se fait la bise?" – Shall we do la bise? (suggesting the greeting)

• "Faire la bise" – To do the cheek kiss greeting

• "Bisous" – Kisses (often used to sign off text messages or emails to friends)

• "Gros bisous" – Big kisses (for close friends and family)

• "Je te fais la bise" – I'm sending you kisses (common phrase when ending phone calls)

Covid-19 and the Future of La Bise

The Covid-19 pandemic posed a significant challenge to this hands-on (or rather, cheeks-on) greeting tradition. During the height of the pandemic, French people temporarily abandoned la bise in favor of elbow bumps, distant waves, or the Japanese-inspired bow.

However, as restrictions have eased, la bise has made a strong comeback, demonstrating just how deeply ingrained this custom is in French cultural identity. After all, what is French social life without this centuries-old greeting ritual?

Regional Variations: La Bise Around the Francophone World

La bise isn't just a French phenomenon but extends to many French-speaking countries with interesting variations:

• Switzerland: Typically three kisses

• Belgium: One or three, depending on the region

• Quebec, Canada: Often two kisses, though less common than in France

• North Africa (Morocco, Tunisia, Algeria): Two to four kisses, sometimes only between women or family members

La Bise for Tourists: Practical Tips

If you're visiting France, here are some practical tips to help you navigate la bise with confidence:

1. Observe first: Watch how locals greet each other before diving in

2. Let the French person initiate: Follow their lead on number and direction

3. Mention if you're sick: It's perfectly acceptable to say "Je suis un peu malade" (I'm a bit sick) to avoid la bise

4. Relax: Remember that a slightly awkward bise is better than no bise at all!

Conclusion: Embracing French Cultural Rituals

Understanding and practicing la bise is more than just mastering a greeting—it's about embracing an important aspect of French cultural identity. By familiarizing yourself with this custom, you're taking a significant step toward authentic cultural immersion that goes beyond language learning.

Next time you find yourself in France or among French friends, you'll be prepared to faire la bise with confidence and grace—a small but meaningful demonstration of your appreciation for French culture.

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